Nine months and 150+ pounds to go...

Sunday night we returned from our Maine vacation. It was a blast! Fun, family, and soooo much FOOD... I'd been planning to start my new lifestyle change on August 15, and in preparation, I ate whatever I wanted and more (to "get it out of my system" I suppose).  It should have come as no surprise then, when I stepped on the scale Day 1 and weighed in at a whopping 337 pounds... Ouch. I knew I was getting up there but seriously? I'm carrying around a whole extra person in the form of FAT!  I'm so ashamed I've let it get to this point. If I end up abandoning this diet like I have every other time, will someone please find me and slap me?!  I can't afford to give up. My kids need me. I'm 28... I don't want to waste my whole life being too overweight to get off the couch and enjoy it. I want energy! I want good health! And I desperately want a sexy body again... So after gaining all that weight on vacation, I actually need to lose MORE than 150 pounds to get where I want to be. That's daunting. But I'm gonna take it a day at a time and try not to get too overwhelmed. That's generally what fucks me up-- I'll do really well for a week or a month even and be like "Why the hell am I still fat?? This is not worth it." And go back to my old ways.  NOT THIS TIME, BABY!

I'm not following any specific diet. My focus is really to eat clean. Nothing processed and very little sugar or carbs. The carbs I do eat must be in the form of whole grains (brown rice, quinoa, whole grain breads or pastas, etc.) Almost all of my diet will consist of fruits, vegetables, and lean meats/eggs. I'm only drinking water. 

I want to workout at least 5 days a week.  My original plan was to get up at 7 every day, before my husband leaves for work, and take the dog out for a walk/jog.  I want to do some pilates, zumba, and cycling.  I have a two-month membership to Curves that is already paid for, I just have to go in and sign up... That is problematic though, because their hours SUCK! My husband is at work almost every hour they are open, so I pretty much would need a babysitter to even go... Sigh. I might join Gold's Gym again. They have great rates and better hours.  And the cardio cinema is a dream come true.  Work out while watching a movie on the big screen in a dark room so you don't have to worry about anyone watching your fat jiggle while you exercise?!

Yesterday, Day 1, I got up at 7 and took the dog out. I attempted jogging, but after maybe 1/8 mile I was struggling to breathe. Holy crap. I thought the burn in my legs would be what got to me, but my chest was screaming. How freaking pathetic! I walked for a few minutes and then ran the rest of the way, exploding-lungs-be-damned!  All-in-all I was out for about 20 minutes. Not bad for my first workout. I had planned on doing more that day, but my new diet left me pretty drained. I guess I need a few days to acclimate to no-sugar-low-carbs... I'm sure eating right will eventually give me more energy but for now I have very little.  I'm fighting a sugar-withdrawal-headache.  

I'm using the S Health app on my phone to track calories and exercise. I really like it so far, it's very user-friendly. It tells me I should have like 2300 calories a day if I want to lose 2 pounds a week (it won't let me opt to lose more than that). No way am I eating that much, so hopefully I'll lose much more.  I think I had about 1450 calories yesterday.  To meet my goal of losing 150 pounds in 9 months, I'll need to average about 4 pounds a week. Should be easy at first, but it's likely I'll plateau at some point... I honestly have no idea how realistic this goal is. I know it'll be tough. But even if I get to the 9 month mark and have only lost 100 pounds, I'll be well on my way and hopefully will have solidified these new healthy habits forever.

Fingers crossed :)