This is me. I'm 28. I'm a mother of three. A wife for ten and a half years now. I'm a pretty darn good cook and baker/cake artist. People tell me I'm beautiful, but I'm pretty confident they're lying or delusional. Because... I'm fat. That's hard to say, because it's something I've struggled with my whole life and I usually try to pretend it's not true... Til, you know, I'm face to face with a mirror, or I have to put on clothing (size 26... yuck). Or, until I suggest sex to my husband and he turns me down because he's "tired" (translation: you're fat and not sexy in the slightest and the thought of making love to you makes me feel queasy)... Can you tell my self esteem is in the negatives?
But, it's ok. Really! I have a plan. I mean, I've only tried a million and one different ways to lose weight and get in shape. Surely, this is gonna be the one that does it. In the past, I've given 110% to my weight loss efforts... For a week. Or a month. Then, for some reason, I fall off the wagon. I give myself a "cheat day" which turns into a "cheat week" and then a "cheat life"... Or, I get frustrated that I've only lost a pound this week when I've been SO GOOD! I mean, I ignored temptation and said NO to all my junk food cravings (all 312,353,064 of them!) and all I get is one measly pound?! Before long, I'm back to where I started and usually even a few extra pounds heavier!
In the past, I've set BIG goals for myself and I forgot to celebrate the small milestones. Instead of being excited that I'd lost 10 pounds I'd feel like crap because I still had 140 to go. Daaaaaaaamn. That's a lotta lb's. But this time, I'm doing things differently. I'm giving myself nine months. Nine months to a whole new me. I want to lose 150 pounds. Which seems insurmountable. But it seems a little more approachable when I break it down into thirds. I want to lose 50 pounds every three months. 50 pounds a season. That's not too bad at all! That's just over 16 pounds a month! Every month that I meet my 16 pound goal, I get a reward. Although, I'll admit, at this point, every reward I can think of is food related... Sigh. I'll figure something out. I've got time. About 20 days, to be exact. Because my three-quarters-of-a-year-long journey begins August 15.
This blog's purpose is to keep me accountable. I'm going to be posting pictures to track my progress. It will be a place to keep all my favorite healthy recipes, post tips and ideas and bits of inspiration. And it will be a place I can vent and be 100% honest about everything.
So... Wish me luck!
XoXo--Kristen
